CBE test

Oh My God, I'm having my CBE test tomorrow, I'm quite scared.
I need to stay calm to do well, I'm aiming for high marks although I did not do well in my trial and progress test. I know I can do it, never give up!!!!

On the other hand, my friends asked me to do what I really want to do in my life, they said just follow what your heart said. Then, I was like huh? REALLY KA? I wondered why is everybody asking me to do something that is so hard to do in my life, I'm scared!!!!! Arrgh!!!!! HELP ME!!!!
I feel like giving up sometimes, it's kind of heartache and I'm suffering.

One sentence to describe all these that I'm going through now.
THIS IS LIFE.

Missing You Like Crazy!!!!!!

For the past 12 years, I have actually have eyes on you already. Although I'm just a small kid last time, I have fallen for you since then. Now, I know that I must try to forget about you already, but till today I still can't do it. Maybe I still have high hopes on you, and I know that you will never know about this, because you will never read this in your life. Every night before I sleep, I will think about you, I have no idea why I can't control my mind, it just comes naturally......I really miss you like crazy.....you will never know that forever. FATE DO PLAY A BIG ROLE BETWEEN US!!!!!!! HELP ME, GOD!!!!!!!

This is actually my fault, if I have treasured you more since last time, then you will be mine forever already. I know that we have been best friend since young, and this fact will never change in life already. Everytime when I see you with your girlfriend, it felt like my heart has been slashed into half, it really hurts like hell, help me!!!!!!! Should I just give up?? This feelings and situation really tortured me until I feel like crying, but I control my emotion and try to be tough. I do looked tough from the outside, but my heart already bleed and shatterd into pieces!!!! I know you since young, and I felt that it will be a waste if our friendship ends just because of my stupid act and thought. Should I just listen to my best friend's advice to just forget about him?

Help me!!!!!!!! Someone please slap me, I can't take this anymore!!!!!
I really miss you like CRAZY!!!!!!